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I feel so alone

I know im supposed to be happy and it's 2021 but I feel so alone and I think I have depression because I sometimes have problem telling people what really going on with me because they think I'm okay but I'm not I pretend to be happy I just wish that someone just look at me and see that I'm not truly happy with myself where my life is going and I can never get the guy I want especially when he calls you a fan in front of other people that I don't know I thought we were friends. I need help please someone help me, as I get older it gets harder to open up to people about who I really am because the truth is I've never been really been in love and never had a boyfriend but I act like I do even though I don't.

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